To Love is a Decision, Not a Feeling or Emotion!

It seems so easy, nowadays, for people to say “I Love You” without giving it much thought. Yet, true love is a decision, not a feeling or emotion, that needs to be thought of deeply.

In a nutshell, the decision-making process of love has different levels in terms of the depth of thought required and its selfish or altruistic nature.

The very first one is Philautia, or self-love, it is naturally instinctive and evolves from purely selfish -in childhood- to either hubris or self-esteem in adulthood. Hubris is unhealthy love or haughtiness/arrogance. Self-esteem is healthy love and our cognitive and emotional appraisal of our own worth.

The second is also instinctive, it does not require any thinking, let alone rational thinking. It is called Eros -from Greek mythology Eros was the love child of Aphrodite, goddess of love, beauty, passion and procreation, and Ares, the infamous god of war -which is 100% egoistic.

A third level is called Philia -from the Greek brotherly love that is established in a family relationship, fellowship and shared values, the opposite of phobia- and requires natural thinking and about 50% altruism.

There is also Storge, Ludus, and Pragma. Storge is the fondness born out of familiarity or dependency. It differs from Philia in that it…